As a little girl
Somehow, as a little girl, I borrowed the picture of a “perfect” woman from somewhere and carried it in my mind for a very long time with the hope and desire that one day I will look like her. I will get there. I will do whatever it takes.
Having no idea that beneath that “perfect picture” was my desire to prove myself that I am enough, I am worthy and I am loveable.
For some reason, I persuade myself that I was fat, and unless I look like “her” super skinny woman I don’t deserve all other great pleasures in my life. I was secretly hoping, that I will finally discover the formula to lose that extra kg or 2 I had around my waist. That when I finally crack that code, I will find the partner I deserve, I can go on holiday and wear a swimsuit without being ashamed or guilty that I had extra cake the evening before.
I was almost “obsessed” with healthy eating and reading any book I could get to or trying new methods I came across. When I was diagnosed with celiac disease I was kind of relieved. I finally had the reason to eat healthy without giving the full explanation of why bread is not healthy, that cakes are full of sugar and empty nutrients, etc.
The wake up call
Then it happened. The wake-up call came to me, finally. I was looking at my old pictures from my “young” age one day. I could not believe how slim and great I looked there!
My tears started running down of my cheeks because I remembered all missed opportunities I thrown away to have fun, to have more joy. I remembered how many times I said NO to pleasure just because I thought “I am not there yet”, “I don’t serve it”.
While I was looking at those pictures and all those memories were passing my mind, I also looked at myself in the mirror and found out that I am still wearing the same size as I was almost 20 years ago.
I couldn’t believe it! How dare you! How dare you to listen to others to tell you to lose weight or that there is something wrong about you!
I was full of anger at myself that I allowed to treat myself this way. All those years! And so many regrets, so many opportunities to create great memories, to have more fun, laugh, and joy in my life.
Of course, I knew, that all those people were just mirroring me and what I have created as a result of my thoughts – limiting beliefs I had about myself.
Promise to myself
That was also the moment I made a promise to myself to love my body no matter what. To treat it with respect, with love and care it deserves. We became my best friends and I am incredibly grateful it serving me in full health, vibrancy, and incredible flexibility.
There is no day I don’t say Thank you to my body – my new friend and I have learnt to listen it. When something is wrong, it gives me signals straight away.
I know that my body is part of me and with my mind and soul, we are one. Yes, it’s not perfect visually, but it’s mine. And I love it. The way as it is. With extra kilogram or without.
What about your promise?
Why am I telling you this story? Why am I sharing my deepest thoughts with you? I know I am not the only one. If you are reading these lines, I want you to let you know that you don’t have to wait 20 years to experience wake up call as I did. I want you to know that you are perfect as you are!
It’s crazy that most of the life we are waiting for the perfect moment, for the perfect “someone” for the perfect opportunity and missing all the big blessings we have right now.
No matter what you are looking for or how far do you want to grow. It’s time to start appreciating what you have right now and who you are at this moment. Otherwise you will not appreciate it even if you have more or better of whatever you are looking for.
As one of my best mentors says: You can’t get it from there – where you are now! Make a peace with where you are, love what you have and the rest will come.
Easier said than done? Trust me, I know how you feel. That’s why I have created challenges The fast track to self-awareness to get what you want. Why this name? Because it all starts with you! Know yourself and live the life you truly deserve. Please, accept my sincere invitation to join my private Facebook group of like-minded irresistible women here.