On the mission

Since I am on my mission to learn and improve relationships (all kinds), my attention got the reality show “Married at first sight” and I wanted to know more. I know, I can surprise myself too sometimes.

Long story short, 2 strangers who never saw each other or knew nothing about each other are matched together by “experts” and so they are willing to enter the marriage experiment right at the altar by getting married with the other half – a complete stranger.

As the show goes on and on, obviously they get to know each other, they face new challenges, ups, and downs too.

My special attention got one couple – incredible match, they both were attracted to each other from the first sight and they also got along really well.  Halfway through the show,  almost perfect romantic story when the crush came on, a complete breakdown – seemed like for nothing.

From nothing to something

At least for me, it looked like a silly thing. Husband, her partner, wasn’t paying attention to her when she was talking to him, and instead, he was on the phone and laughing about something.

They had a huge argument about it and my first thoughts were: come on, really? Are you doing such a big issue over nothing? So he was laughing so what?

But for her, it wasn’t “nothing”. She felt hurt, not appreciated, unheard and she was in pain. By the end of the show, I admired her for speaking up about her real feelings and for wanting to be heard.

Different points of view

Yes,  maybe she was doing elephant for nothing but here is my point:

• How many times have you felt this way and you said nothing?
• How many times you didn’t get promotion at work and you said nothing?
• How many times have you thought to yourself: it’s nothing but you were hurt. So you shut down. You kept quiet and then it happened again.
• You shut down even more because it was just nothing again.
• Really, it’s nothing. You are a good person, colleague, employee, wife, daughter, mother… and the circle went on and on.

The more you were hurt, the more you shut down over “nothing”. Eventually, you found yourself resentful because you decided to be a good person.

At that moment I reminded myself how many times I kept quiet because it was “nothing”. It was just a silly thing. Maybe it was, but here is my point:

Your feelings matter

The way you felt was something. It wasn’t a silly thing. The way you feel is the most important thing.

Just to be clear: I am not saying that the husband should have to listen to all the time or that he did something wrong. Nobody was wrong.

It all starts with you!  I am saying that behind “nothing” is usually bigger something and that needs your attention.

My point is that you should have not ignored the way you feel, pay attention to it, dig deeper, and find the meaning. Take full control of how you feel and chose life you want instead of life full of resentment.

Your feelings matter, you matter!